


Phonesex Fail...?

by atticrissfinch



Category: Glee
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, fabricated orgasm, phone!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:29:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atticrissfinch/pseuds/atticrissfinch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt calls Blaine when he gets home and well....Kurt doesn't want to talk about his day....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phonesex Fail...?

Blaine has just plopped down onto his bed, lying back onto his pillows, when Kurt’s ringtone blares from the pocket of his sweats. He pulls his phone out with an eager smile. This is the moment of the day he lives for—hearing his boyfriend’s voice again. His New York, College Student boyfriend.

“Hey, Kurt!” Blaine answers.

“Hey, baby.” Kurt greets, a bit breathily. Blaine figures he’s just walking quickly back to his apartment.

“How was your day?” Blaine asks, routinely. God, they have a routine. Sometimes Blaine can’t get over the little details of their relationship.

“It was fine, but I don’t really want to talk about that.”

Blaine furrows his eyebrows. It’s then that he realizes there’s no background noise. He can’t be walking around the city, it would never be that quiet. The only thing he hears is something…slick?

“Okay?” Blaine responds, confused. “What…what do you want to talk about then? Do you—” He could hear Kurt’s breath quickening through the receiver.

“I—Kurt, honey, are you ok?”

“What are you wearing, baby?” Kurt panted out.

Oh god. Kurt was…he was…shit. This was new. This was very new. Like, brand freaking new, never even attempted before. Blaine was suddenly stricken with stage fright. In his own bedroom. Alone.

He gulped. “Um…I’m…in sweats? And a tank top?” His eyes dart around his room anxiously. He wasn’t doing this right at all. That much he knows. “I was boxing. Didn’t bother to change out.”

Kurt moans over the phone. Oh god oh god Blaine doesn’t know how to do this.

“Are you still all sweaty? God, I love how sweaty you get after you box. Just want to lick it off you, Christ, baby.”

“I—no, it’s been a while, I’m not sweaty anymore. I just collapsed on my bed. And then you called, so…” Blaine cringes. He really doesn’t know how to do this right.

“God, Blaine, I just was thinking about the way your cock feels when it’s pounding into me, and I could barely sit through my lecture. Was palming myself through my jeans the whole time.” Blaine groans. He’s willing himself to get hard, but he just can’t. He feels so damn awkward.

Come on, you stupid fucking dick, just bone-ify or whatever the fuck it’s called, just DO IT.

Nothing.

Kurt plows on. “I got back to my apartment and I just needed to hear your voice. Oh my god, I miss your cock, baby. I need it. Need it inside me so bad.”

Blaine kneads his face with his free hand. God, this is uncomfortable. His goddamn sexy as hell boyfriend is jacking off to thoughts of his dick while on the phone with him and he can’t even pop a damn boner.

Worst boyfriend ever award goes to: Blaine Anderson, he thinks.

“I miss you too…?” He forces out. What does he say, what does he say?

“Please, talk to me baby, god, please.” Kurt whimpers out. He can hear the sound of slapping skin over the phone.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

“Ok, yeah, um…” Blaine fumbles. “I—touch yourself?” He makes a frazzled face in immediate reaction to his own words. Touch yourself? He’s already doing that, jackass. You’re an idiot. You are a certifiable idiot, Blaine.

Blaine shucks off his pants and underwear as best as he can with one hand, and begins stroking himself, attempting to get hard. His dick isn’t cooperating. He glares at it. You no good traitor. I hate you.

Kurt moans. “More, Blaine, more. I need to hear your voice. Come on, baby, I’m so close.” And he sounds close too. His breathing is erratic; the slapping noises are coming faster and faster.

“I…I don’t…” Blaine stutters. Luckily, Kurt fills the space.

“Are you touching yourself too, baby? Want you to come with me. Can you?”

Blaine winces. “I…yeah, I’m touching myself. I’m touching my dick.” Because, yeah, technically he is.

Kurt begins whining into the receiver, and Blaine can tell he’s close. Panicked, Blaine begins speeding up his breathing, trying to give Kurt something. He lets out a moan for good measure, grimacing at how fake it sounded to him.

Kurt moans in response, obviously buying the fabricated noises of pleasure on the other line. “Oh, Blaine you sound amazing. Can’t wait to see you again. Oh, fuck, baby, fuck, I’m—” and Kurt lets out a long, breathy moan, the one that indicates that Kurt is coming.

And Blaine is definitely not.

He lets out another fake moan, and then begins breathing harder, in his best imitation of post-climax, hoping that Kurt believes he missed Blaine’s orgasm in lieu of his own.

As Kurt is coming down from his release, Blaine’s thoughts are racing a mile a minute.

Fuck, did I just fake an orgasm for my boyfriend? Goddamn it, I’m supposed to be Billy Crystal, not Meg Ryan. Christ, Kurt is going to kill me. Oh my god oh my god oh my god I am literally the worst boyfriend in all of mankind. I’m moving to Switzerland and changing my name and god I can’t believe I just did that.

“Oh my god, baby.” Kurt breathes out.

Blaine chuckles. “Yeah…oh my god.” Oh. My. God.

Ok, good, Kurt didn’t notice. That’s good. Right? He doesn’t have to tell Kurt. He never does. Maybe when they’re thirty and married and can tell funny stories without the fragility of a long-distance relationship, Blaine will tell him. But not now. Absolutely, positively not now.

Kurt speaks again. “I’m sorry, I know that was new. And unexpected. But I just wanted to try it out.”

Blaine just hums in affirmative.

“Was that good? For you, I mean?” Kurt inquires.

Fuck. Blaine can’t lie. There’s no way he can lie. How do you tell your boyfriend, “I couldn’t get a hard on while you fapped on the phone to me, sorry! Better luck next time!”

No, Blaine can’t say that. There is no way he can—

“I COULDN’T GET IT UP, I’M SORRY!”

Well, fuck.

The painful silence stretches on for what feels like hours. In reality, it was probably about five seconds.

“What?” Kurt asks, but in a way that is clear that yes, he had understood exactly what Blaine had said.

Blaine repeats it anyway. Cat’s already out of the bag.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt.” he says. “I tried, I really did, I swear. But it was just so…unexpected for me, and…” he might as well say it, “It was really fucking awkward, Kurt.” He rushes out at the end. Blaine can feel his cheeks flaming with embarrassment and a bit of self-loathing.

He just told his boyfriend, whom he loves more than anything, that he thinks he’s awkward. Might as well change his facebook relationship status now.

“Oh,” Kurt mutters. “Okay. That’s…fine. It’s fine, Blaine.” And he doesn’t exactly sound hurt, but sometimes it’s hard to tell with Kurt. That’s one thing Blaine has learned. There’s no way for him to tell exactly what Kurt is feeling without seeing his face.

“Maybe we just need practice!” Blaine hurries out.

Kurt sighs. “Blaine, we don’t have to. I just wanted to try it out. It was a dud. That’s okay. We’ll figure out what works for both of us.”

And all Blaine can think about is how selfless his boyfriend is. His boyfriend that he just faked an orgasm for, and then accused of being awkward. He has to fix this, he has to. Kurt deserves it.

“I want to try it again, Kurt! I do.” Blaine assures. “But maybe…I can initiate it next time?”

Kurt’s voice is happier when he replies. “Okay, Blaine. That sounds great. But only if you really want to, alright? I’m not forcing you into anything you don’t want to do.”

Blaine smiles. His boyfriend really is perfect.

“I want to do this for you, Kurt. It sounded like it was really good for you.” Kurt giggles lightly. “And I think, with practice, it could be really good for me, too. And I want to try.”

“Alright, Blaine. I’ll look forward to it.”

Blaine sighs. “I love you so much, Kurt. I’m sorry I suck.”

“I love you too. And why in the world would you ever be sorry for ‘sucking’? As far as I’m concerned, you could win a medal in ‘sucking’ a certain something of mine.” Kurt’s voice is teasing, alluring.

Suddenly, the image of Blaine on his knees in front of Kurt fills his mind. Kurt’s fingers tugging at his hair, fucking Blaine’s mouth with his cock, Blaine’s throat opening up for Kurt’s ruthless taking. Blaine feels his dick finally, finally twitch.

Oh. Ok.

When Blaine speaks, his voice is just a tad deeper. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” He hears Kurt smiling through his voice, but Blaine can tell he’s getting a bit hot again as well. God bless teenage recovery rates.

Blaine wraps a hand around himself, stroking himself slowly. “Kurt, what do you say we give phone sex one more try?” he purrs into his phone.

Kurt moans, and Blaine’s cock grows harder at the sound.

Yeah, Blaine thinks this could work out.


End file.
